Hi Steve,
I see your energy fluctuating often, causing you to feel very high sometimes...and then very low at other times.  When you vibrate too high, your energy races and you tend to get unfocused.  Everything moves so fast in your head that you get impatient or frustrated, which causes you to feel down and depressed.  If you continue to do this, it might eventually take it's toll on your body.  You must learn to balance...not too high...not too low.  When you reach that balance, you will start to feel good and be in the right space to attract the right person for a good relationship. 

Dear Ben,
I have been married for five years, however, I'm concerned that my husband is cheating on me.  He rarely comes home.  When I confronted him, he didn't want to talk about it.  I have been faithful to him.  Please help!  Thank you, Audrey, CA

Hi Audrey,
You should trust your feelings.  I believe that your husband is cheating on you.  I see that he is also very controlling and stubborn too.  It will be better if you are apart from your husband because I don't see him making any good changes in the near future.  If you decide to stay with him and make the marriage work out...YOU will have to sacrifice your happiness and live with his cheating ways.  You are a good person and deserve better than that.  Best wishes to you.

Dear Ben,
A friend of mine recently told me that I had impacted anger and that was why I get so frustrated with Bob everyday (he's just triggering my own stuff).  What do you think?  Thanks, Kristi, CA

Hi Kristi,
What your friend said was partly true.  It's a combination of your pictures of anger/ invalidation and Bob's energy invalidating you.  Not only is Bob lighting up your anger pictures, but he is adding some new ones for you to deal with.  It would be much easier for you to heal yourself and move forward if you did not have to deal with the added pictures.  Some of the pictures that are lighting up for you are anger, invalidation, guilt, and stupidity.

Dear Ben,
I think what you do is fantastic and really helps me out when I need it.  Here are my questions.

Love: There are two guys that have come into my life or have been there and I just never noticed them. Will anything come of the two. Their names are R. and O. if that is any help.  Thanks, Lupe, US

Hi Lupe, 
R. can be a nice, caring person...but, he tends to get stuck in the past. It's hard for him to forgive and move on when someone makes a mistake. He tends to go to extremes...either he will hold on real tight when he wants to...or he will push you away...depends on his mood.  R. can get very angry at times.  I don't think you would want to get stuck in a relationship with R.  He would drive you crazy in a bad way.  It's ok to be friends as long as you don't get in a close relationship with him.

O. can also be nice and caring, but he tends to get bored easy.  It seems that it is hard for O. to concentrate on a subject/project for too long.  He always wants to take the shortcut.  Everything with O. is "spur of the moment", which can be exciting at times...but it wouldn't be too good in a relationship...maybe good for going out and having some fun, but not for a serious relationship. You would end up very frustrated and hurt.

My weight: I have been working on trying to loose weight will I finally succeed?

You will lose weight if you stick with some basic things that will help you to raise your metabolism to burn up fat:

1) Breathing in slowly through your nose all the way down to your stomach and then exhaling through your mouth.  Make it a habit to do it often throughout the day. It will get your metabolism going faster.

2) Eat 5-6 small meals a day. When you do this, it will keep your body in a fat burning space. Try to cut way down on cooking oil...even olive oil.  Eat more vegetables, fruit, fish, poultry, and occasionally some lean beef.  Do not starve yourself. You have to eat many small meals so that your blood sugar doesn't go down causing you to crave junk food.

3) Try to do about 15 -30 minutes of walking - three times a week. Don't walk too fast or too slow...just a nice even pace, so that your heart rate will be about 20 beats every 10 seconds...or 120 beats a minute. If you walk too fast or too slow, you won't be burning up fat.

That is what I did to lose 35 lbs in three months.  I also use the protein shake, which is part of the Shaklee Weight Management Plan that I follow.  I have lots of energy and I feel great!  Here is the link if you would like to check it out: http://www.shaklee.net/bensonwong/product/WeightManagementProd

You don't need to do anything extreme.  Just make a few small changes and you will notice a big difference physically and spiritually.  I know you can do it! :)

Job: I just went back to my old job, new boss, but I feel like something is still missing...it is a bit better, just not right on...

Lupe, I'm sure that when you follow the above tips, in addition to the meditation that I explained in my last reading to you...you will be feeling like you are on a (natural) high.  Your job situation will also change for the better, because you will be in a good space to start creating and receiving what you really want, career wise, and in life.  :)

Dear Ben,
My father died when I was young.  I'm interested in hearing about any information you may pickup about him.  I've always wondered about his spiritual progression. Thanks. Rhonda, LA 

Hi Rhonda,
I was looking at your father at the time you were born and as you were a young child. His energy seemed dark, heavy, low, and away from you.
Your father was not feeling to well. There was so much from his past that he was holding on to. He always kept his problems or concerns bottled up inside of him. Over the years, it took its toll on his body. He often was depressed and angry, and didn't want to be around. I was looking at some sharp pain on the left side of his chest and stomach. It looked like he was struck by something which caused the pain. It just seemed like he was so unhappy.
Today, your father is very calm and content. NO PAIN. He has a smile on his face. He says he loves you very much and wants you to be happy. He says that he is sorry for leaving so soon, but he just couldn't take any more. If you want to talk to him, just sit quietly and say hello. He will be there for you. He is very much alive. He wants you to know that he is watching out for you and your son. Smile, and be happy for him.  :o)

Hi Ben,
It was nice talking to you, and it helped a lot. I take things too serious but I guess it's part of my upbringing and personality. I was surfing the internet looking for spiritual help and found your web page using Infoseek search engine.
By the way, I called other readers before and they said I had some darkness from a family curse and they will remove it for an amount of money. I felt like I have been cheated yet it felt so real. Is that possible?  Regards,    Lawrence,  Holland

Hi Lawrence,
There is no family curse on you. The reader was just trying to scare you and collect more money. The best thing for you to do, if you want happiness and success in your career; love life; future, etc., ... is to lighten up, relax, and don't take things so serious. Appreciate what you have and also think about what you want in life. Think about what makes you happy...what kind of a relationship you want...what kind of qualities do you want your partner to have? Are you happy with who you are? What would you like to change? Keep things simple, take one step at a time, have some fun, smile, be happy!
If you do this, you will be in a much better space to create what you desire in life. It really is simple. Go ahead...start with a smile. :o)

Dear Ben,                                                                                    
I am looking for some answers and I didn't know if you could help or not but I thought I would try.
I became involved with a man online. He said he wanted me to marry him, and was supposed to visit this coming friday. He cancelled saying his kids needed him and then last night he deleted his screen name and won't read the mail I sent to his other. I don't even know if the name he gave me for himself was real.
My heart is breaking here and I don't know if what we had was real or all a game to him. If you can help I would truely appreciate it.  Sincerely,  Becky

Hi Becky,
Don't trust George! He's playing a game with you. Even if he comes up with a good excuse in the next few days, or in the future...Don't trust him, or believe him.  If he's doing this to you right now, just think how it would be if you married him. The best thing for you to do is to let go of him and move on.  He really is kind of wacky!  You do have to be careful of who you are communicating with online, especially if you've never met him in person. There are a lot of people out there playing games of fantasies and emotions. I know it's difficult when you get caught up in a situation like this, because it can be fun and exciting...but it can also hurt.  It's best to move on before you get hurt even more.  Unfortunately, I get lots of letters of this kind. You just can't get too serious about love online.  Things might work out about 1% of the time, but 99% of the time it doesn't .  :o(

Dear Ben,
Could you tell me about my past life?  SPM

Hi SPM:
Well, you've had many...but there is one I see when you were a little girl in South America. You were an orphan living in a Catholic school/home. You had lots of rules and regulations to follow. You grew up and became a nun...always giving...and feeling guilty for wanting something for yourself. You were supposed to give and not think about receiving. So, in that past life, you made a promise to yourself that you wanted to be free to do whatever you wanted to do in a future life.
In this life you are very independent, and also feeling very alone at times.  You seem to resist any religion that has rigid rules and regulations. You still have a very healing, soft heart...but sometimes you can appear hard or stubborn, so that others won't take advantage of you. You are extremely sensitive, but sometimes you try to hide it behind that semi-hard front. That's why people are always trying to figure you out...thinking that you are weird, uncaring or selfish. People are always judging you, and you are always trying to defend yourself.  Just remember, this is your life. Be yourself, and enjoy it.

Dear Ben,
I'm 15 years old.   In the last week,  I've been involved with two different guys one of the age of 26 (we fooled around) and a guy only two years older then me who cheated on his girlfriend of a year and a half with me. I have feelings for the second guy and he has admitted that he has feelings for me, I was just wondering if anything will happen with either one of these guys. Thanks so much.   Jessica

Hi Jessica,
Please be careful!  You know, those two guys are only after one thing.  The first guy should know  that he is breaking the law and is taking advantage of you.  If you two are caught together, he most likely will/should be arrested and put in the slammer.  I don't see the second guy leaving his girlfriend to be with you.   If you two were going around, do you think that he might cheat on you too?  Think about it!  Do you think they will be there to support you if you got pregnant or in any trouble?  I don't think so!  They will leave you to suffer by yourself!  You are young, and have your whole life ahead of you.  Don't allow yourself to get all messed up with those guys.  You must take care of yourself, and be smart!  Get away from those kinds of guys.  

 Dear Ben,
a) When will I meet someone? Information about him would be nice :)
b) When will I get my next promotion?   Will it be when I think?
c) Will the goals I have set up for the next couple of years come true?
THANK YOU!     Alison

Hi Alison,
You will meet quite a few guys...but what kind are you looking for?  You have already missed a few that were interested in you, because you were looking passed them.   You have to learn to take your time, and  move a little slower...otherwise you will miss out on the opportunities that you are looking for, and become very frustrated.   I do see a guy about 18 - 20 years old, with brown wavy hair...kind of straight and serious.  His energy moves a little slow...and yours moves fast...looks like you two will compliment eachother.

If you want a promotion soon, then you will have to create it.  You have to visualize, and feel yourself getting that promotion.  See and feel yourself in the position that you want...with as much detail as you can about the duties of the position.  Do this everyday, and soon your opportunity will be there for you.

Reaching your goals really has a lot to do with how you truly feel about them, and what you are doing to accomplish them.  Visualizing your goals...and writing them down in detail so that you can see them and feel them everyday... would be very helpful in making your goals become a reality.

If you have a goal, but you only think about it once in awhile, and don't focus your thoughts, or put your energy towards creating your goal in detail...you probably won't achieve it.  It's really up to you to GO for it.  Best wishes to you. 

Dear Ben,
I'm going out with someone by the name of Wayne.  Right now, he's experiencing tremendous financial problems due to a business venture; and this is what's causing the strain on the relationship. Do you see anything hopeful or anything positive coming out of it for us and his career endeavor? The relationship is off right now as he tries to sort out things on his own. Obviously, I'm curious if there is any chance of reconciliation.

Hi Curious,
Wayne tends to change his moods very frequently. His mood goes up and down like a yo-yo...which causes him to get exhausted. One minute he's up, happy and excited about things, then the next minute he becomes moody, angry and depressed. He likes to think BIG, and do things his way. He loves to be in control of things. Sometimes he gets very stubborn, and doesn't like to listen to anyone. Wayne likes to appear happy, confident and successful on the outside (which is great), except for the fact that he tends to hide all of his problems on the inside. That's the problem: Holding on and hiding all the things from the past. He has to learn to relax, lighten up, release all the stuff that he is holding on to, and have some fun. He gets too serious, and that causes his energy level to go down...then he gets scared and depressed, and panics. Wayne has to learn how to change his attitude to be able to become light and balanced, and learn to keep things simple (which will lead him to success).
I don't see him changing too soon, unless something drastic happens in his life to shake him up a bit so that he can begin to see the light, and really evaluate his life to see what is really important to him.
I don't see your relationship with Wayne progressing in the present time, and in the near future. He is in a space where he is not making good decisions. If you wait for him, you will probably be unhappy and frustrated too. Keep things light with him, and start giving to yourself, and have fun!

Dear Ben,
I'm very interested to find out what you can see about career move on my part. I'm feeling burnt out where I am right now and I feel I must change venue, so to speak.     Accountant

Hi,
You do need a change! You need something more creative and stimulating! I think you would be happy and successful if you were doing something in the field of art. You have a very creative mind and you are good with your hands. You are also a very sensitive, caring, and loving person. You are always giving, but not much is coming back to you. If you were to draw, paint, color, design, decorate,etc. you will find your happiness. People would be happy with your work, and appreciate your talents, and in return, you would feel happy, validated, calm, and content ... and if you wanted...make some $money too. At least start exploring in that direction, and you will start to feel energized,creative, and happy again. :o)

Dear Ben,
Hello, I'm at my wits end and very confused. I'm about to have my 5th anniversary with my husband. He still brings up my ex-boyfriend who I was truly in love with a long time ago. What kind of future do you see for me with my husband? Is my ex going to come back into my life?  Thank you.  Tammy

Hi Tammy,
Your husband is just the same as when you first met him...possessive, jealous, and sneaky.  I don't think you are having much fun in this marriage, especially when  your husband keeps bringing up your ex. to distract you and make you feel guilty so that you won't notice what he is doing behind your back, with other women.  I know that you are aware of this, and have been hurt by what he has done in the past and what he is doing to you now.  
You still think of the good times together with your ex-boyfriend, because it helps you to deal with today...but don't forget why he is your ex.    Another round with him will hurt you again.  You are going to have to start trusting your feelings, and expressing them to your husband.  Don't hold back your feelings anymore because it's eating you up, and tearing you apart.  Best wishes to you.     

Dear Ben,
Only one real question and that is: am I pregnant?  If so, is it my husband's child or my lovers?    Diane

Hi Diane,
Looks like you are pregnant with a baby boy( there's a female spirit around you also) ...from your LOVER.  Good luck!

Dear Ben,
You said I would be in a new relationship with a new lover and it happened, but he is no longer in my life.. You are so right in what you said.  I am depressed and i am in alot of pain from this relationship. I was hurt badly; i just wish things would have been better for me and him... I loved him and he couldnt give that back... So i sit here and i suffer now.... please help...thanxs.  debby

Hi Debby,
You just have to decide that you want to feel good...and that you want to be happy! The sooner you snap out of the space that you are in, the sooner you will experience some happiness! You just have to get your attention off of that last guy, and start giving to yourself, and having some fun. You are very attractive and you are a very giving person. Before you get into your next relationship, remember to take your time, and don't be in so much of a rush. Really get to know his personality.  Listen, observe, and evaluate what he says and what he does. Does he follow thru when he says that he will call you, or meet you?  Does he show you respect?  How does he treat other people?  Is he consistent?  Do you feel safe with him?, Do you trust him?, etc. Take your time because that is the best way to really get to know a person.  keep things light, and have fun.

Dear Ben,
Do you see me getting into a serious relationship anytime soon?  Rona in NY

Hi Rona,
For your next relationship, you better have a good sense of humor.  Try to stay light and not so serious, otherwise the relationship will get too serious and not much fun for you!  Make sure that you choose a partner that has a good sense of humor too.  Take your time and don't rush things.

Dear Ben,
Will I find another lover, will I have a new relationship, and will I stay healthy?    Debbie

Hi Debbie,
I'm sure you will be in a new relationship and have a new lover.  Give yourself some time; don't be so hard on yourself...if you want to stay healthy, you must learn to relax, stay balanced, and have some fun. You tend to get a little hyper and scattered at times...then you get depressed. Relax, everything will be fine.  :o) 

Dear Ben,
I met my boyfriend online about a year and a half ago. We both lived in the same area, but he moved away to Canada. We e-mailed each other often and he called me every other day. However, I soon broke up with him and told him I never wanted to see him again. A couple of months later, I found myself comparing the guys (that I wanted to date) with him. I was constantly thinking about him. We got back together and everything was going great, but today we got into a fight. I told one of my friends that he wanted to break up with me and so I was going to break up with him first. When he saw the email he became very upset and said that I'd hurt him very badly and that he didn't want anything more to do with me. Just the day before he called and told me of how we would someday marry and how he wanted me to have his children. But all of that has changed. Will my boyfriend and I be happy and make a life together, or am I wasting my time?
p.s. About three hours later we made up and everything seems to be back to normal but I would still like an answer to my questions if possible.     Maria  

Hi Maria,
I really don't see you two together for long. You both live so far apart, and have a lot of growing up to do. You can't have a happy and lasting relationship if you both are constantly getting angry with each other and breaking up every time you have a disagreement.  It's best to keep things light ...and not so serious! You will both be much happier.  

Dear Ben,
I was wondering if my boyfriend James and I are a good match??  Alicia

Hi Alicia,
I don't think so.  It seems like you two don't trust each other, and you both get in to competition with each other.

Dear Ben,
I have always avoided relationships with my colleagues, but a couple of months ago I met a person I like very much. We are working for the same company, but not in the same department. I believe that there is an interest on both sides, but he is terribly shy and really conservative.  His name is Richard. Can you see this friendship progressing towards the romantic relationship within the next couple of months? Is there anything I should or shouldn't do?  S.S.

Hi S.S.,
I see that Richard is very interested in you, but like you said…he is a bit shy. There is a strong possibility for a romantic relationship between you two. For that to happen though, it looks like you will have to take the lead in getting things started. In the long term, the responsibility for making most of the adjustments to keep the relationship going will be in your hands. Richard does have lots to say, but it is sometimes hard for him to express his feelings. At times this could be very frustrating to you. Just remember to keep things light, and have fun! :o)

Dear Ben,
I am working as an independent consultant, and last week  I started a contract with a new department and new boss. Can you see if there is any room for progress and advancement in this department and company, and will I find this job interesting?  Stella

Hi Stella,
This department seems very busy. Everything feels so rushed. It feels like a bottleneck at the top! As the pressure builds, everyone tends to scatter around. When the pressure is released, everything goes back to normal. Although, this job can being interesting to you, I don’t see you in this job for the long run. Too much stress, and ups and downs.

Dear Ben,
Will I manage to stay in Munich and Germany for good?  Z.L.

Hi Z.L.,
You will be very happy and comfortable in Munich, if you decide to settle down and stay there. It is really up to you!  :o)

Dear Ben,
I just had a really bad argument w/ my husband last night and again this morning, now my in-laws are in on it and are blaming everything on me. The last words my husband said this morning before he left for work was "I hate you , I want a divorce." He hasn't been communicating with me, and he snaps when I ask questions.What do I do?  Claudine

Hi Claudine,
The first thing to do is evaluate your marriage. Write your thoughts down. Overall, how do you feel about your marriage? Are you always fighting, does it get violent? Do you really love him...does he love you? Are you happy, Is he?, etc.  If you both can't communicate with each other in a calm way, then you both may need to get some counseling.  First try to ask him to sit down so that you two can discuss your concerns. Try not to attack or blame each other. Keep the communication very simple. Try to stay in the present time. Talk about your feelings, and let him express his also.  Ask him what is important to him in life?  What will make him happy? What does he want? Let him know what is important to you, and what will make you happy. If he won't agree to sitdown with you, try writing a letter to him...let him know your feelings.  In the letter, ask him to sitdown with you and talk, or tell him to write down his feelings. If he won't agree to any of this, then suggest counseling.  If you both don't feel that your marriage includes Friendship, Love, Respect, Communication, Sharing, Caring, Understanding, Patience, Forgiveness, Happiness and Fun,...and you both aren't willing to work together to include and improve these things on an ongoing basis, then it will be difficult to have a Happy, and Successful marriage.  Remember to keep things simple, and take one step at a time. I hope this all works out for both of you.  Let me know how things are progressing.  :o)     

Dear Ben,
What can you tell me about a Philip F.?  Wondering, in LA

Hi Wondering,
Seems like he gets high...drinks alot!   Spends lots of time out of his body...a dreamer...not too aware or reliable. Philip can't handle too many things at the same time. He will either drink or turn away from his challenges/problems instead of facing them. He can make friends very easily...very easy going...nice guy...also very forgetful.  :o)

Dear Ben,
Who do you think is better for me, Marie or Jeannie?  Please help me, I'm confused!
Al, in Nebraska

Hi  Al,
Marie has a lighter energy than Jeannie.  She is more easy-going and out-going, and is big hearted. She is a very affectionate, emotional and giving person,  but sometimes she gives to much of herself to others.  She thrives on validation.  Jeannie, on the other hand is a perfectionist.  She is more private, and can get very jealous and stubborn. She is a very capable young lady, but is also very insecure and expects constant attention from her man.  

Al, you are a perfectionist also, and you tend to get very jealous, possessive and stubborn too. If you choose Marie, you would be very upset with her because she loves to talk and give to others.  If you choose Jeannie, both of you will argue constantly because you are both very head strong and don't like to be told what to do.
If you want me to choose for you, then I'd say Jeannie, only because she can stand up to you and battle back.  If you were with Marie, you would dominate her and she would be very unhappy and  feel abused.

To really have a happy and lasting relationship, both partners must treat each other with respect and understanding.  Listening and being sensitive and caring about each others feelings, thoughts and dreams and being able to share with each other by communicating those feelings, thoughts and dreams, will surely clear the path that leads to happiness. 

Dear Ben,
What's going on with me in this lifetime, will I be happy? Am I going to meet my soulmate soon?  Wondering, VA

Dear Wondering,
First of all, before I answer your question, I want to look in to your past lives to see what kind of experiences you've been through. With that information, it helps me to see and understand what you are going through in this life and why.

You are a spirit that has lived many lifetimes. In many of those past lifetimes (mostly female), you were a very giving and healing person who internalized her thoughts and feelings. In one particular lifetime as a female in Asia (in the 1200's), you lived and worked on a farm. Your job was to work in the fields, cook, clean, and to take care of everyone, including your children and their fathers'. You had six or seven children with several different men.

You didn't receive any validation or recognition for anything you did. You were expected to work hard, be responsible, loving and giving. Many times you felt sad, lonely, not appreciated, and guilty for having those thoughts.

Remember, life in the past was quite a bit different than it is today. You didn't have to worry so much about time and money. Your energy / vibration level ran at a very heavy dark purple color because of all the responsibilities, sacrifices, guilt, and sense of duty you had in that lifetime.

How does all of this affect you in this life? Well, you basically have many of the same thoughts and feelings today, that you had in your past... especially when you vibrate at purple. Where you are really making some changes is in your communication. You are expressing your feelings / opinions more. Sometimes this ends up in confrontations or disagreements / challenges with others because you won't back down. They don't expect you to express yourself. They expect you to be nice and quiet (just like you were in your previous lives.)

I notice that your energy fluctuates from feeling high and confident to very low confused / depressed (purple / black.) This fluctuation can be very draining to your spirit and your body. When you are vibrating low, you tend to attract males that want to control you.

If you want to experience a dramatic change in your level of happiness, consistency, creativity, and enjoyment of life, then all you have to do is make a few adjustments by vibrating at Golden / yellow, Light Blue, and Medium to Bright Green. Just follow these simple steps:

1) Go to a quiet room and sit-down in a chair. Close your eyes, breathe normally and allow your body and mind to relax. Put your attention on your head by tapping your forehead. Smile :o)

2) Think of the color: Golden / Yellow. As you are breathing, feel that color circulating around your head and throughout your body. Notice how you are starting to feel lighter, more relaxed and calmer.

3) Next, think and feel the color of Light (sky) Blue. Breathe it in and feel it circulating throughout your body. This stimulates your creative energy. Think of the sky (limitless.)

4) Now think of Light Green. Breathe it in and feel it flow throughout your body. This vibration helps you to create $$$ and opportunity.

The more you do these exercises the faster you will notice changes in your life. As you are going through these exercises, think about what you want in life. Think about the qualities you want your (partner) soulmate to have. When you think about those qualities, be specific because that is what you are going to attract. Be prepared because you are about to experience a new beginning. :o)  Have fun! Best Wishes and  "Happy Birthday!"

Dear Ben,
Do you have any tips on getting a job? I'm 22 years old and I'm in sales. I keep getting turned down! Will I get one soon? What's wrong with me? I feel so stuck! Please help me!  Phil, Tempe, AZ

Hi Phil,
I notice that your energy has been feeling very low and heavy. Many people you come in contact with, might sense (consciously or unconsciously) that your low and heavy energy as being unfriendly or troubled in some way. They might mistakenly view you as being set in your ways, closed minded and /or controlling. You are in fact, a nice, friendly, funny, caring, and open minded person (when you are feeling good.) What they are sensing is your fathers' energy/personality in your space and your resistance to him. Your father is very serious, controlling and set in his ways. You picked it up from him over the last 22 years and it's not surprising that his conditioning/programming is clinging on to you. Ever since you were a child, he would criticize almost everything you did (especially when you were joking around and having fun.) You couldn't ever please him. He wanted you to look up to him for everything.

Whenever you go searching for a job or interview for one, your energy gets very serious (no fun, just like dad's), low and heavy. It affects your communication with others too. They may feel that you don't communicate well or that you don't want to.

If you really want to experience an amazing change in your luck when you are looking / interviewing for a job, or just communicating with others, you can consciously adjust your energy FROM vibrating low, slow, heavy (purple/black), TO a more vibrant, energetic, open, happy, creative space with lighter colors of golden/yellow (knowledge, openness, calming), sky blue (creativity), and florescent green (opportunity, excitement, $$$.) So in short, you must get your fathers' energy out of your space. Just remember, when you are laughing, his energy doesn't affect you...BUT when you get too serious about things...that's when his programing starts to kick in. So the trick is to clean his energy out of your space, reset your energy level, smile and be happy.

To start making changes, just follow a few simple steps...

1) Go to a quiet room and sit-down in a chair with both feet flat on the floor.

2) Close your eyes and take a slow deep breath. Keep breathing this way for at least five minutes. You will notice how your body begins to relax and settle down.

3) Put your attention on your head by tapping your forehead. Now smile...when you smile, you'll start to feel more relaxed and lighter.

4) Now feel the color of golden/yellow in your head. Feel it circulating throughout your body as you breathe. Notice how you are feeling. Relax and enjoy it...

5) Now think of the color, sky blue. Breathe in and allow that color to be in your head and let it circulate throughout your body. Again, notice how you feel. Take your time, relax, don't rush.

6) When you are ready, see and feel the color of florescent green as you breathe it in and allow it to flow in your head and throughout your body. Be aware of how this feels to you.

That's it! Once you follow these exercises, you will notice quite a difference in how people treat you. Do these exercises at least a couple of times a day. The more frequently you do these exercises, the better you will feel and the quicker you will achieve the results that you want in life. Remember to relax, smile, keep it simple, and most of all, have some fun.

Dear Ben,
Here is my problem: I met this guy at work who is older than me. I thought he was beginning to like me and I began to like him. I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend and I wouldn't act on this temptation, but curiosity is killing me! I know this is bad, but can you tell me how he feels about me? I felt I knew him in a past life.      Curious in NY

Hi, Curious:
You and "this guy" (I'll call him Guy") did have a past lifetime together as sister and brother. This took place in the 1600's, on a farm in Sweden. You were the 18 year old sister and Guy was your 5 year old little brother. You were like a mother to him, always taking care of him and making sure he was safe. He really depended on you for everything, and you were always there for him. You had a very soft heart, always giving to others and sacrificing your happiness.

Your mother in that lifetime, was drunk quite often because she was very angry and in a lot of pain caused by your father. Your father was always out drinking and having fun and many times he would be out all night long. Your parents drove each other crazy, constantly yelling and arguing with each other. You were left with most of the responsibilities for cooking, cleaning, farming chores, and taking care of your little brother, Guy.

So, back in present time, (Jan. 1997) if you were to have a relationship with Guy, it would pretty much be the same as it was in that past lifetime. You would be like a mother to him and not treated like a partner. He likes you a lot but he is not consistent with handling commitments and responsibilities. You would have to be the responsible one, taking care of him and everything else. He would take you for granted and expect you to be there for him when he needed something. You couldn't depend on him though because he tends to be a little selfish and many times he wouldn't be there when you need him. Guy isn't the right guy for you unless you are willing to sacrifice your happiness.

One suggestion I have for you is to slow down a bit, relax, and have some fun. You tend to rush around and can't sit still. You get very impatient and become very emotional. Your mood keeps swinging from feeling happy to feeling depressed. This mood swing keeps happening because you hold so much of your feelings inside, and you never know when you're going to break down and cry.

I have a good healing cassette tape that would help you to relax, center yourself, release all of the stored up pressure and help you to get in a space to create your happiness. You can find that tape in my tape catalog.

As for your mother and father in that past life...guess what? They're with you again in this life...yes, you guessed it!...as your dear mother and father (bringing all of their same problems with them and all of the same responsibilities for you.) HELLO?...smile :o)

Dear Ben, I just recently split up with my boyfriend, Scott.  He came home and told me he didnt love me and wanted me to leave after two years..so I moved out of state...what I want to know is why he did this and do you see us getting back together?  Carl

Hi Carla,                                                                                                           
I see that Scott is involved with another woman.  He has been seeing a few different women while he was with you.  I don't see you two together again...at least in this lifetime.  You are better off without him because he's not going to be true to you.  The woman that he is presently going out with will also go thru what you are going thru because Scott is going to do the same thing to her.  Count your blessings that you won't have to be the victim of his any longer.  Keep thinking about happiness for yourself, and the kind of happy relationship that you desire...and soon you will 
be living it! :)

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